A New Day Is Upon Us

DoubleAxHandle.com will return soon with a new look, and new updates. It’s a whole new beginning.

BREAKING: Ric Flair attacked by bear

Why, Matt Hardy? WHY?!

That is the question that is being asked by Hardy marks all around the internets.  At this past Sunday’s Royal Rumble, Matt Hardy turned on his brother, Jess Harvey, during a WWE title match with Edge. And people are taking it wayyyy too seriously.

Exhibit A: This picture/comment was taken off Matt Hardy’s myspace, and shows that people still believe that ITS STILL REAL TO ME DAMMIT;

Exhibit B: As a result of all the bickering and hilariously insane comments off that no good sonofabitch Matt Hardy’s myspace, a friend of mine made an animated video with an accumulation of the best and worst posts that were miraculously approved on V1′s site. That may be viewed here (thank you for your excessive free time, JohnnyBL).

Exhibit C: Finally, it all comes full circle. Remember when Owen Hart turned on Bret Hart at the 1994 Royal Rumble? Just imagine if we had social networking and blogs back then. People would have been murdered, yo. New Jack City styl’. With guns and shit. You know what I mean?

I’d like to remind everyone that wrestling is fixed. The storylines, the matches, the results are all a work. If you take it too seriously, you’re worse than a mark; you’re a certifiable retard. I know that I might be coming off as a bit harsh, but as a wrestling fan for, pretty much, my entire life.. I always had the presence of mind to know that it’s entertainment (well, sometimes it isn’t entertaining; thanks WWE!).

Grow up.

More like the Rock-N-Roll Local

Pictured above: Robert Gibson (L) and Ricky Morton (R). OLD!

ROH Final Battle 2008 (12/27/08) Inhebriated Recap

ROH

ROH

Blogger T and I attended last night’s ROH Final Battle 2008 and I tried as hard as I could to keep tabs on the show while being unbelievably drunk. From what I remember, it was a great show with the match of the night definitely being Marafuji vs. Nigel. Marafuji is one of the most entertaining wrestlers I have ever seen. His offense is so innovative and crisp. Tyler Black is also on the fast track to superstardom. I can totally see this guy making a huge impact really soon in TNA or WWE. Here is my unfiltered drunken report:

1. Kenny Omega defeated Claudio in the opener.

2. Jerry Lynn defeated Rhett Titus and Chris Hero and Necro Butcher in a four-way. Good back and forth match. At one point, Titus was trying to powerbomb Necro Butcher off the apron, but Necro reversed it into a huracanrana. In the ring, Sara del Ray threw the loaded elbow pad to Hero who put it on his foot and tried to kick Lynn. Lynn ducked then hit the Cradle Piledriver for the win.

After the match, as Necro was leaving, Jimmy Jacobs entered the ring through the crowd and called Necro a Hollywood sellout. Necro returned to the ring but was attacked from behind by Delirious. That lead to “Steenerico” coming out to start the next match

3. Kevin Steen and El Generico beat Jimmy Jacobs and Delirious to retain the ROH Tag Titles. Really good back and forth match. The end saw Daizee Haze trying to get involved, but Jacobs grabbed her and tried to attack her. Steen then superkicked Jacobs. He followed that up with his version of the cradle piledriver for Delirious followed by a brainbuster by Generico for the win. After the match, Jacobs was yelling at Delirious. Read the rest of this entry »

The Art of FFwatching

FFwatchingIf it wasn’t for my DVR, I would’ve given up on wrestling years ago. I said it! Wrestling is absolutely unbearable to watch without a remote control nowadays. From all the rehashed video packages and the super long entrances to the ungodly restholds, I can do without all the time filler.

On average, I would say I can watch a whole episode of RAW in 20 minutes, 30-45 if there are decent matches. I’ve picked up on WWE’s “new style” of delivering wrestling. Things happen for the first two minutes to get your attention, then they settle down. Click!. Randy Orton applies a resthold… click!. Divas Match…Click!. John Cena reciting poop jokes and jocking the WWE Universe’s proverbial balls…Click!. ECW is usually full on ffwatching, with the exception of Evan Bourne. The only wrestler who has my absolute undivided attention is Santino Marella, for reasons I’m sure you understand.

Oh, and TNA, forget about it. More like Total Nonstop FFwatching zing! I think in the month of October, I pretty much launched the show in my DVR, hit FF and never stopped to watch, other than maybe a Mick Foley promo and a Motor City Machine Guns match. It’s gotten a little better now, but still there is a ton of FFwatching going on.

You should really try it sometime. It’s like saying FUCK YOU SHITTY BOOKING, I will not waste my time watching it. The entertainment value of the shows will go way up and you’ll have way more time to spend online bitching about how wrestling sucks or you know “having a life”…whatever that is.

Happy Thanksgiving from The Gobbledygooker!

The DoubleAxHandle staff would like to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.  Here’s a flashback to the 1990 Survivor Series, as one of the worst gimmicks in wrestling’s history was literally hatched  (even if it was for one night).
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I remember watching this as a kid and not knowing what the hell was happening. But, ole Mean Gene saves the day with some of the best dance moves I’ve ever seen from an elderly man; not withstanding the crazy-dancing-happy-fun Six Flags guy.

Wrestling in the Bible

Petey Williams Gets Ripped Off

Woah. If somebody were to just stumble onto our front page for the first time, after searching for “pictures of axs” or “senior-citizens fucking hart”, they might think this is a GAY wrestling blog, and while we have nothing against the gays (boo, prop 8!), we felt we needed to post something to counter balance our astute observations about the homo-erotic undertones of the sport.

And so, we are proud to present…
Petey Williams Gets His Finisher Stolen…

(this is a little graphic folks, definitely NSFW, wouldn’t want you to get fired… put the kids to bed, yadda yadda, click through…) Read the rest of this entry »

Possibly the Reason Why Gabe Was Fired?

Just a hunch. Its not I don’t find Rhett “Addicted to Love” Titus entertaining. This guy is brilliant! He oozes sex appeal. He’s a manly man. Plus, he’s totally not gay.

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