JBL wants to get you high & hard


Product endorsements, especially energy drinks, have been a common and yet annoying occurrence in the entertainment industry. Seeming everybody has their own energy drink, from Lil Jon to Hulk Hogan. So when I read a few months back that everybody’s favorite Nazi wrestling businessman, JBL is investing in his own energy drink I thought nothing of it.

Then, a few days ago I logged onto WWE.com to see a headline that read something like JBL to announce new “MAMAJUNA” energy drink. Wait, what? Mamajuana? That looks a lot like marijuana. I was intrigued at this. When I read the article my mind was blown:

We aim to change retail with this. I believe with all my heart that Mamajuana Energy will be the breakthrough product of 2008. The testimonials I have gotten back have been nothing short of amazing. Guys on weekends with their wives or girlfriends have called me and asked me to FedEx Mamajuana Energy to them – that is how amazing this product is. There is nothing like Mamajuana Energy, period.

Wait, what? Did he just imply this will make my dick bigger? After further investigation on their official website, I found out that Yes indeed they claim the product makes your dick bigger.

JBL is always thinking ahead: There are tons of energy drinks out there, so how we can find our niche? I know, people have small dicks, lets make their dicks bigger. And, people love weed, so lets make it a name that sounds like marijuana. I know mamajuana!! Yes perfect. Where’s my check?.

One wrestler was heard commenting “Wow, I’m so used to taking things that make my dick smaller… this is a great idea!”

Speaking Out


Abyss andre the giant ashley awesome Batista Beth Phoenix big daddy v big show bobby heenan Bret Hart candace michelle chris jericho chyna ECW elizabeth floyd mayweather georgia gobbledygooker GREAT KHALI hacksaw jim duggan hulk hogan jim ross John Cena kurt angle LOLWrestlers mae young maria michael cole Randy Orton randy savage RAW ric flair roh santino marella snoop dogg Steroids taint Ultimate Warrior vince mcmahon WCW WORSTLEMANIA WrestleMania wrestling WWE WWF