Happy Thanksgiving from The Gobbledygooker!

The DoubleAxHandle staff would like to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.¬† Here’s a flashback to the 1990 Survivor Series, as one of the worst gimmicks in wrestling’s history was literally hatched¬† (even if it was for one night).
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I remember watching this as a kid and not knowing what the hell was happening. But, ole Mean Gene saves the day with some of the best dance moves I’ve ever seen from an elderly man; not withstanding the crazy-dancing-happy-fun Six Flags guy.

Weasel Words

archie bunker
“Ya see, ya got yer Samoans, dey got da hard heads there.”

Reader dark-o writes in comments:

was he [Bobby Heenan] a racist? about the mexican jokes he made.

I don’t think he was a racist, it was just a bigoted buffoonish character. Society in general was a lot less PC in the 1980s — whether you think that is a good thing or not is another argument — and you could get away with a lot more on TV in 1988 [and prior] than you can in 2008. Everything on WWE TV is so sanitized now, which is why old Heenan clips are such an entertaining thing to go back and look at.

Another thing to consider is that cable TV had such a tiny share of the audience 20 years ago that a lot of people weren’t aware of WWF television shows. And that any concerted effort by self-righteous religious zealots and soccer moms to “clean up” TV was usually aimed at the broadcast networks, and not at the marginal shows that Bobby was featured on.

Archie Bunker [a character designed to explore ignorance] was way more racist than a couple of Tito Santana jokes [told by a character designed to piss people off]. I think that the atmosphere today would not allow a show like “All in the Family” to ever be greenlighted today on network television, even though the show clearly did not endorse racism but did the exact opposite and almost always showed Archie to be a loser and a moron. And by the same token, in WWE, you’re more likely to see out and out stereotypes promoted as positive attributes (like Cryme Tyme) than you are to see a heel character expressing heelish and subtly racist thoughts like Heenan, which actually takes some thought to dissect.

Bobby Hennan is a broadcast journalist

Bobby The Brain HennanBobby Hennan and Gorilla Monsoon hold the keys to my youth. I listened to their voices for hours and hours on end as a kid, and watching old WWF clips really takes me back immediately to being a kid. With the news of Bobby Hennan recovering after throat surgery, it got me thinking about some of his greatest quotes, some of while I will share right now:

Brain : (commenting on Hulk Hogan’s entry/exit theme song)
“That’s my second favorite song”
Gorilla : “I’m almost afraid to ask – what’s your favorite?”
Brain : “All the rest are tied”

“Stu Hart trained all his kids–only three of them use the litter box.”

Heenan: I KNOW who the Assassin is!!!!
Schiavone: Tell us, Bobby, who?
Heenan: He’s the guy down at ringside wearing the mask!

(Talking about the Guerrero family)
“Their family is watching this at home wondering if the wheels are going to get stolen off their house.

Gorilla: “That was an illegal move!”
Brain: “No it wasn’t.”
PGorilla: “Yes it was!”
Brain: “No, it was a legal move, it was a Greco-Roman Hair Pull.”

“Have you ever been to Glens Falls? The city limits signs are on the same post.”

Vince: All Typhoon has to do is sit up and tag his partner.
Heenan: You’re asking a lot for Typhoon to do a sit-up.

During Undertaker match
Brain: C’mon ref. 1,2,3,4,5
Gorilla: What are you doing?
Brain: I’m showing ya. The referee could’ve broke the hold. He’s intimidated by that monster.
Gorilla: Why don’t you go down there and referee?
Brain: I’m needed here.

Ross: Back in Oklahoma, Bobby, we called a match like this a slobberknocker
Bobby: I thought that’s what they called the waitress at the Tip Top cafe in Downtown Tulsa.

Brain: Don’t touch that referee Perfect!
Gorilla: Why? A disqualification will save his title.
Brain: O.K. Then nail him!

(During the Rockers incident on the Barber Shop:)
As they were shaking hands: See, one without the other isn’t any good.
After the superkick: Oh, I knew he was going to do that. I just knew he was going to do that. He don’t need Jannetty.

“I know all about cheating. I’ve had six very successful marriages.”

“Do you know what ‘Ariba’ means. It means ‘Swim faster, the border gaurds are behind us”.

(At Royal Rumble ’92, Piper had just clotheslined Jake Roberts as he was about to DDT Flair)
Brain: “I never thought I’d say this, but thank you, Roddy! It’s a kilt! It’s not a skirt! It’s a kilt!”
(And after Piper had just kicked Flair as he had Roberts in the figure four seconds later)
Brain: “Why, you no-good freak! You skirt-wearing freak! It’s not a kilt, it’s a skirt!”

But who’s side is he on?

PURE GOLD! Wrestling announcing has never been the same since you left, Brain. If I left any out, post ‘em in the comments!


Speaking Out

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