DoubleAxHandle

A New Day Is Upon Us

Blogger Brody — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 04:25:27 +0000

DoubleAxHandle.com will return soon with a new look, and new updates. It’s a whole new beginning.

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BREAKING: Ric Flair attacked by bear

Blogger Brody — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 15:36:45 +0000

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Why, Matt Hardy? WHY?!

Blogger T — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 22:34:16 +0000

That is the question that is being asked by Hardy marks all around the internets. At this past Sunday’s Royal Rumble, Matt Hardy turned on his brother, Jess Harvey, during a WWE title match with Edge. And people are taking it wayyyy too seriously.

Exhibit A: This picture/comment was taken off Matt Hardy’s myspace, and shows that people still believe that ITS STILL REAL TO ME DAMMIT;

Exhibit B: As a result of all the bickering and hilariously insane comments off that no good sonofabitch Matt Hardy’s myspace, a friend of mine made an animated video with an accumulation of the best and worst posts that were miraculously approved on V1′s site. That may be viewed here (thank you for your excessive free time, JohnnyBL).

Exhibit C: Finally, it all comes full circle. Remember when Owen Hart turned on Bret Hart at the 1994 Royal Rumble? Just imagine if we had social networking and blogs back then. People would have been murdered, yo. New Jack City styl’. With guns and shit. You know what I mean?

I’d like to remind everyone that wrestling is fixed. The storylines, the matches, the results are all a work. If you take it too seriously, you’re worse than a mark; you’re a certifiable retard. I know that I might be coming off as a bit harsh, but as a wrestling fan for, pretty much, my entire life.. I always had the presence of mind to know that it’s entertainment (well, sometimes it isn’t entertaining; thanks WWE!).

Grow up.

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More like the Rock-N-Roll Local

Blogger Brody — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 05:42:01 +0000

Pictured above: Robert Gibson (L) and Ricky Morton (R). OLD!

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ROH Final Battle 2008 (12/27/08) Inhebriated Recap

Blogger Brody — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 21:37:33 +0000

ROH

Blogger T and I attended last night’s ROH Final Battle 2008 and I tried as hard as I could to keep tabs on the show while being unbelievably drunk. From what I remember, it was a great show with the match of the night definitely being Marafuji vs. Nigel. Marafuji is one of the most entertaining wrestlers I have ever seen. His offense is so innovative and crisp. Tyler Black is also on the fast track to superstardom. I can totally see this guy making a huge impact really soon in TNA or WWE. Here is my unfiltered drunken report:

1. Kenny Omega defeated Claudio in the opener.

2. Jerry Lynn defeated Rhett Titus and Chris Hero and Necro Butcher in a four-way. Good back and forth match. At one point, Titus was trying to powerbomb Necro Butcher off the apron, but Necro reversed it into a huracanrana. In the ring, Sara del Ray threw the loaded elbow pad to Hero who put it on his foot and tried to kick Lynn. Lynn ducked then hit the Cradle Piledriver for the win.

After the match, as Necro was leaving, Jimmy Jacobs entered the ring through the crowd and called Necro a Hollywood sellout. Necro returned to the ring but was attacked from behind by Delirious. That lead to “Steenerico” coming out to start the next match

3. Kevin Steen and El Generico beat Jimmy Jacobs and Delirious to retain the ROH Tag Titles. Really good back and forth match. The end saw Daizee Haze trying to get involved, but Jacobs grabbed her and tried to attack her. Steen then superkicked Jacobs. He followed that up with his version of the cradle piledriver for Delirious followed by a brainbuster by Generico for the win. After the match, Jacobs was yelling at Delirious.

4. Erik Stevens, Roderick Strong and Brent Albright defeated Eddie Edwards, Go Shiozaki and Davey Richards in a NY Street Fight. The match spilled to the outside early. Midway through the match the heels worked on Albright until Strong and Stevens recovered. At one point, the faces had Go cornered. Stevens gave Go a german suplex which led to Strong giving Go a running kick which then led to Albright giving Go the armbar for the win. After the match, Richards and Edwards were pissed at Go and left without him.

5. The Briscoe Brothers defeated Kensuke Sasaki and Nakajima. Very “methodical” match at first with the heels working over Mark Briscoe.In the end, the Briscoes hit a Doomsday Device in Nekagima but Sasuke broke it up. Mark took Sasuke to the outside ad Jay hit the Jay-driller for the win.

After the match the American Wolves (Richards and Edwards) attacked the Briscoes. This led to Steenerico and Strong/Albright/Stevens coming in for the save. Albright grabbed the mic and said that he was challenging Sweet and Sour to a cage match and somebody was “going to die.”

–Intermisson–

6. Austin Aries beat Tyler Black. Really good match. Crowd had dueling chants for each wrestler throughout the match. In the end, Tyler was in control and went to the top rope. At this point, Jimmy Jacobs came out to encourage Black, but it ended up distracting Black as he missed his corkscrew. This allowed Aries to hit a brainbuster and the 450 splash for the victory. After the match, Jacobs scolded Black, who then shoved Jacobs, leading to Jacobs begging off. Black eventually forgave Jacobs which got him a low blow for his troubles. Jacobs went to grab a chair and placed it on Black’s head. Austin Aries came out and ran off Jacobs only to turn and hit Black anyway. SWERVE! Both Aries and Jacobs then attacked Black. Weird angle.

As Aries went to the back some fan tried to attack Aries leading to one of the security guards giving the fan a Tazmission. Hilarious!

7. Nigel McGuinness defeated Marafuji to retain the ROH Title. Marifuji unloaded a slew of innovative offense at the beginning of the match which was too awesome to put into words. This match was purely awesome. Towards the end, I almost believed that Marifuji was going to win, but Nigel bounced off the ropes and hit his giant lariat for the win. Match of the night, so far.

After the match, Jerry Lynn walked out to congratulate both wrestlers. Lynn said that despite their differences, he wanted to congratulate Nigel on a great match. Nigel grabbed the mic and said Lynn was just trying to steal his spotlight and that he’s washed up just like Mickey Rourke’s character in “The Wrestler.” Lynn was pissed and demanded some of Nigel right away, but Nigel left through the crowd.

After the match, the lights went out and then Prince Nana appeared in the ring begging Cary Sulkin to rehire him. Security eventually caught him and escorted him out.

8. Bryan Danielson defeated Takeshi Morishima in a Fight Without Honor. Morishima came out first. The lights went out for Danielson and he appeared behind Morishima and blindsided him. Dragon quickly threw Morishima to the outside for a suicide dive. Morishima quickly regained control and slowed the pace of the match down. Danielson’s face was covered in a crimson mask early on. Another awesome back and forth match.

At one point, Dragon hit a German and then rolled it into a cattle mutilation but Morishima rolled out. Dragon then hit 12 elbows but Morishima got up and hit a wicked lariat on Dragon. Morishima proceeded to choke Dragon with a giant chain. After a bit of maneuvering, Dragon managed to hit a side suplex off the top ripe. He then wrapped the chain around Morishima, stomped him a bunch and then locked him in a head scissors. Morishima eventually powerbombed Dragon to get out of the hold.

Danielson eventually wrapped Morishima’s arms in the chain but Morishima fought back with his feet. Danielson went for a low blow and then continuously stomped Morishima in the crotch. Danielson wrapped the chain around his elbow and gave Morishima 20 elbows to the face, setting up for the cattle mutilation for the knockout victory. After the match, Dragon got on the mic and thanked the fans for this show having the largest attendance in ROH history. He was joined in the ring by all the faces.

Notes: Overall, a really strong card with the World title match being the best match of the night.

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The Art of FFwatching

Blogger Brody — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 18:30:55 +0000

If it wasn’t for my DVR, I would’ve given up on wrestling years ago. I said it! Wrestling is absolutely unbearable to watch without a remote control nowadays. From all the rehashed video packages and the super long entrances to the ungodly restholds, I can do without all the time filler.

On average, I would say I can watch a whole episode of RAW in 20 minutes, 30-45 if there are decent matches. I’ve picked up on WWE’s “new style” of delivering wrestling. Things happen for the first two minutes to get your attention, then they settle down. Click!. Randy Orton applies a resthold… click!. Divas Match…Click!. John Cena reciting poop jokes and jocking the WWE Universe’s proverbial balls…Click!. ECW is usually full on ffwatching, with the exception of Evan Bourne. The only wrestler who has my absolute undivided attention is Santino Marella, for reasons I’m sure you understand.

Oh, and TNA, forget about it. More like Total Nonstop FFwatching zing! I think in the month of October, I pretty much launched the show in my DVR, hit FF and never stopped to watch, other than maybe a Mick Foley promo and a Motor City Machine Guns match. It’s gotten a little better now, but still there is a ton of FFwatching going on.

You should really try it sometime. It’s like saying FUCK YOU SHITTY BOOKING, I will not waste my time watching it. The entertainment value of the shows will go way up and you’ll have way more time to spend online bitching about how wrestling sucks or you know “having a life”…whatever that is.

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Happy Thanksgiving from The Gobbledygooker!

Blogger T — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 05:18:45 +0000

The DoubleAxHandle staff would like to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. Here’s a flashback to the 1990 Survivor Series, as one of the worst gimmicks in wrestling’s history was literally hatched (even if it was for one night).

Click here to view the embedded video.

I remember watching this as a kid and not knowing what the hell was happening. But, ole Mean Gene saves the day with some of the best dance moves I’ve ever seen from an elderly man; not withstanding the crazy-dancing-happy-fun Six Flags guy.

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Wrestling in the Bible

Buff Blogwell — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 04:14:11 +0000

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Petey Williams Gets Ripped Off

Blogger Brody — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 23:17:53 +0000

Woah. If somebody were to just stumble onto our front page for the first time, after searching for “pictures of axs” or “senior-citizens fucking hart”, they might think this is a GAY wrestling blog, and while we have nothing against the gays (boo, prop 8!), we felt we needed to post something to counter balance our astute observations about the homo-erotic undertones of the sport.

And so, we are proud to present…
Petey Williams Gets His Finisher Stolen…

(this is a little graphic folks, definitely NSFW, wouldn’t want you to get fired… put the kids to bed, yadda yadda, click through…)

Totally ripped from the the F4W/Observer Forums

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Possibly the Reason Why Gabe Was Fired?

Blogger T — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 23:08:17 +0000

Just a hunch. Its not I don’t find Rhett “Addicted to Love” Titus entertaining. This guy is brilliant! He oozes sex appeal. He’s a manly man. Plus, he’s totally not gay.

Click here to view the embedded video.

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