Nigel McGuinness is not a robot

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ROH is so fucking awesome that their weekly 10 minute Youtube clips are more entertaining than 5 hours of WWE “sports-entertainment.” Their latest video wire is especially amazing, as recently turned heel, and ROH champion, Nigel McGuinness has a sit-down interview with ROH commentator, Dave Prazak (who he keeps calling Prozak). During the interview, Nigel goes off on all the marks in ROH who give him shit, and basically pwns the fuck out of them. We here at DoubleAxHandle give Nigel our seal of approval.

The only thing I disagree with, is during his speech he talks about how he bets people doubted American Dragon when he first won the title and thought he was boring, but won them over. Well, Dragon didn’t win me over. He’s still boring as hell to me!

And, if you’re reading this Nigel, whenever you want to have some tea and crumpets, you are more than welcome at the DoubleAxHandle headquaters

Buff Blogwell adds:  Check out 7:55, he called American Dragon an al-BEEN-o!!  That’s got to be the word of the week at dXh.

Lé Shockmaster

A few months ago, when DoubleAxHandle was just a twinkle in our collective eyes, we all gathered together to watch some crappy PPV at our buddy’s house. We started talking about terrible wrestling angles, and the legendary Shockmaster came up. For all you young kiddies, the Shockmaster was Fred Ottoman aka Tugboat aka Typhoon. He was supposed to be this Terminator like character, except, in his debut appearance, when breaking through a wall, he totally fucked up and fell and lost his mask. So we were trying to explain this to our friend, and just had to show him the clip. Somehow we stumbled onto to some foreign film interpretation of it…

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Clearly, this is the product of the Mid West, acid and a lot of free time. KUDOS!

RAW… Is… Pigeon Poop and Midget Sex


Above: Your best friend while watching RAW.

Hey, it’s Tuesday afternoon! You know what that means — I have finished watching the four other things that were on during Monday Night RAW which I would rather watch, and it is time to fire up the DVR for a recap. Fast-forwarding finger activate!

- Two things nobody likes appear in the first match: casket matches and Mark Henry. Nothing very interesting happens in this match, but I will say that Undertaker‘s new submission hold is really gay. Not “gay” as in uncool, as the kiddies say, because it is actually pretty cool. I mean gay as in “homosexual looking”. More so when Mark Henry starts drooling on his crotch while the hold is being applied

Also, maybe my fine colleagues in this blog who read dirtsheets can answer this — wasn’t Mark Henry’s 10-year contract up a couple of years ago? Does this mean they re-signed him to be a jobber?


“What?! I really had to go.”

- The WrestleMania commercial where Carlito gets pooped on by a seagull, again. Listen, I’m not a super Carlito mark or anything — he’s OK. But jeez. In the past couple of months he has jobbed to a midget, and bird poop. I wouldn’t even wish that on The Highlanders, who are actual jobbers.

- These Skittles commercials are getting more and more creepy. The one with the guy who has the “Skittle touch” is more poignant and depressing, than funny. This one with the piñata guy is just plain freakish — I didn’t even get that he was a piñata guy, until he verbally got the point across by saying he got beat with a bat with the expectation of candy coming out. He just looks like a guy in a ragged suit, whose skin is repulsively melting off his face.

They kind of work as surrealism, although I don’t know how effective they are at getting people to buy Skittles, which one would assume is the intended point. I am now starting to have a knee-jerk revulsion to Skittles whenever I happen to see them at the grocery store, because of these commercials.


Above: Hornswoggle — Just For JBL?

- Speaking of endorsements, I am sure Just For Men Haircolor is proud to learn that the “Slam of the Week” they are sponsoring was the implied butt-slamming of Hornswoggle by JBL in the hospital last week with the lights off. I wonder if WWE has some deal where the sponsor has no say in these, or if they actually cleared this with them. If so, maybe they are trying to reach the “creepy gray-bearded homosexual midget fetishist” demographic.

Also, I always wonder why the hospital allows people to visit and then kick the shit out of people, let alone allow a crew in to set up a camera and lighting and record the entire thing, plus cables to the truck to allow them to manage a satellite linkup. When I have gone to hospitals to see people I actually know and love, with no intentions of kicking the shit out of anybody, nor turning off the lights and buggering people and broadcasting it live via satellite, they still crosscheck my identification as if I were suspected of being a terrorist.

- Well, we are one third through the show and so far the best part of RAW has been Edge in a promo for a Smackdown match at WrestleMania. So not only is Edge the only good thing on Smackdown, he is kinda the only good thing on a show he isn’t even on, up to this point.

- OK, I spoke too soon, this match with Chris Jericho and Jeff Hardy was pretty good. Jericho still looks flabby, and way slower than his prime, but he’s so good that he can work even with the added slowness. Too bad this is the last we will see of Jeff for a while as he gives up the Intercontinental championship to go serve a steroid suspension.

I say, look the other way and let the poor guy take the roids. He is clearly not using it to get big, or to make his career all based off of being muscular, a la immobile losers like Chris Masters. He’s just suffering from the abuse of the WWE schedule and the type of matches he wrestles, and he takes roids to heal quicker so he can not be in so much pain. You can see the guy wincing every time he takes a bump. Suspending him seems more like denying marijuana to terminal patients. What’s the point?

- OK, they’re not even trying anymore with these oldtimer cameos. So Jillian Hall comes out and interrupts the match before it starts, and Mike Rotondo beats her up because she can’t sing, haw haw. Violence against women is funny if they are annoying! So then… THEY DON’T HAVE A MATCH. The fuck? How does that cancel the match? Was it a “FIRST ONE TO EXECUTE A MOVE LOSES” match?


Milwaukee: home of cheese and commie mind-control.

Seriously, why make it a match in the ring if none of the old farts can still go? Just have them all bump into Jillian Hall backstage and do the same skit. I guess I should have picked up that there wasn’t going to be a match when Windham and Rotondo came out dressed like they just came from a titty bar, but still.

- One other thing, how the hell are people booing the “Russia #1″ bit?! That should be getting a huge pop by now. I would figure nostalgia alone would get that over anywhere, but especially in a town like Milwaukee which, as I have mentioned here before, had a socialist mayor. They should be singing along with the goddam Soviet anthem.

- Warning, HHH‘s entrance on DVR fast forward may cause epileptic fits. Watching his matches on fast-forward, though, is fine and sometimes resembles actual normal-paced matches. Not against Kane though.

I used to like Kane. He was an agile big man about ten years ago. I really liked him as Fake Diesel as they let him do moves he wasn’t allowed to do in the Kane character or as Dr. Yankem. But now he’s a big stiff, immobile and slow. He can’t even sell simple moves anymore. It’s kinda sad because from everything you read, he is a nice guy. But sheesh. It’s five minutes of punch and kick. He would be right at home in Acclaim’s classic 1988 NES game, WrestleMania.

- Tomorrow night on ECW! Some guys no one knows, plus Tommy Dreamer will have a match, and it will actually have ECW rules for a change! One chair will be involved! It will be exactly like old ECW! Tune in!

- Listen, it’s not like I have a high standard for WWE women’s matches. I get it. They hire based on hotness, not wrestling talent, and all the training in the world won’t make them into a good wrestler. I can hit in a batting cage from now till 2025 and I will never be David Wright. WWE doesn’t care about whether the girls have talent — it’s all about eye candy.

But still, Melina is so much worse than the rest of them. Whenever her music comes on, I have to go get a sandwich, or something. She is so unbearably awful that I can feel my back twinge whenever she falls wrong or does some horribly executed suplex. She is, quite literally, so shitty that it hurts to watch.

The funniest part about WWE women’s matches is that NO ONE CARES. They get some of the hugest reactions when they come down the ramp, but during the matches you can hear a pin drop. You would think that maybe that would tell the WWE that they should either (a) have the shitty wrestling women stand on the ramp and just look hot, or (b) find some women who can actually wrestle and not just trade really bad phantom punches for three minutes, even if it means they’re a LITTLE less hot (Melina has a dogface anyway despite a really nice body). Hell, find some good wrestlers and stick some big bolt-on tits on them. But, no, they just keep trotting them out to injure the shit out of each other.

Oh, by the way, WWE, if you want to continue to get Beth Phoenix over as an unstoppable monster, it’s probably not such a great idea to have her stand next to the shortest male non-midget in the WWE, Santino Marella, and highlight the fact that she is way shorter than he is. Just a suggestion.

- Hey, maybe I am being manipulated by the WWE into hating Floyd Mayweather and markishly rooting for the Big Show to kick his ass. Maybe he is actually a Rhodes scholar, and is only pretending to come off like a tongue-twisted doofus just to infuriate the audience (“It’s possible that you may could hurt me.”). OK, my hunch is that is not the case since I don’t think the WWE is very good at executing these types of things. I think they intended for him to be the face, but he is such an unlikable little piece of shit that they wisely, for once, reversed course and went with the crowd.


Above: So dangerous, he injures himself.

But whatever — in this case I fully embrace my markishness because I can’t stand the marble-mouthed little fucker. I’m actually looking forward to this match because of what a douche bag he is. I’m not exactly a Big Show fan, but am I fucked up for hoping this little twerp winds up on the wrong side of a typically botched Big Show maneuver and legitimately breaks his ankle? I don’t think I am. And maybe it will prevent the WWE from doling out millions of dollars to celebrities with no wrestling ability. Or at least, if they do it, get guys who can navigate the stormy seas of an English sentence without hitting a verbal iceberg. The match will be shitty, regardless, but the drama of whether he will get a legit injury will keep my interest. In fact, I think the WWE should play up Big Show’s incompetence as a selling point to the match. If he can break his own neck attempting a moonsault, what do you think he can do to a 150 lb. boxer? He is like ten Ahmed Johnsons.

- YOUMANGA! Damn, I wish this guy was not a jobber/designated guy to throw out there to represent Vince McMahon in any angle. He is awesome. Also, William Regal saying YOUMANGA and TRIPLE HAYTCH would be great for a drinking game. As for Batista, how does he avoid the piss tests while Jeff Hardy gets caught?

- Oh cool, it is time for the fourth “WrestleMania Rewind” match, where we get to watch a match from an old WrestleMania which wasn’t any good the first time. Now it’s John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels! The least bad of these four so far. But still not good. Some stuff happens, five knuckle whozits, you can’t see something or other, tuning up the blah blah, then the match ends.

You know, Shawn Michaels is immensely talented. However, his entire arsenal is now limited to about five moves repeated in the same order, plus punches and kicks. I don’t know if it is because of age or the combined impact of injuries, or becoming a Jesus freak, or what. And he STILL has great ring instinct and stamina and he still has some great matches. But when he is in a match with a sack of potatoes like John Cena it really bogs the match down now, as opposed to the past when he could make any match with any old slob into a gem.

In summation, I am trying to remember a WrestleMania main event I cared about less than this one. Not having much success. All three guys are so bland and boring and all three guys have had long, bland, boring title reigns. Even Hulk Hogan/Sgt. Slaughter beats this one out, even though everyone knew Hogan was going to win, just because the anti-American Iraq stuff was so hilarious. So, a little help?

Bobby Hennan is a broadcast journalist

Bobby The Brain HennanBobby Hennan and Gorilla Monsoon hold the keys to my youth. I listened to their voices for hours and hours on end as a kid, and watching old WWF clips really takes me back immediately to being a kid. With the news of Bobby Hennan recovering after throat surgery, it got me thinking about some of his greatest quotes, some of while I will share right now:

Brain : (commenting on Hulk Hogan’s entry/exit theme song)
“That’s my second favorite song”
Gorilla : “I’m almost afraid to ask – what’s your favorite?”
Brain : “All the rest are tied”

“Stu Hart trained all his kids–only three of them use the litter box.”

Heenan: I KNOW who the Assassin is!!!!
Schiavone: Tell us, Bobby, who?
Heenan: He’s the guy down at ringside wearing the mask!

(Talking about the Guerrero family)
“Their family is watching this at home wondering if the wheels are going to get stolen off their house.

Gorilla: “That was an illegal move!”
Brain: “No it wasn’t.”
PGorilla: “Yes it was!”
Brain: “No, it was a legal move, it was a Greco-Roman Hair Pull.”

“Have you ever been to Glens Falls? The city limits signs are on the same post.”

Vince: All Typhoon has to do is sit up and tag his partner.
Heenan: You’re asking a lot for Typhoon to do a sit-up.

During Undertaker match
Brain: C’mon ref. 1,2,3,4,5
Gorilla: What are you doing?
Brain: I’m showing ya. The referee could’ve broke the hold. He’s intimidated by that monster.
Gorilla: Why don’t you go down there and referee?
Brain: I’m needed here.

Ross: Back in Oklahoma, Bobby, we called a match like this a slobberknocker
Bobby: I thought that’s what they called the waitress at the Tip Top cafe in Downtown Tulsa.

Brain: Don’t touch that referee Perfect!
Gorilla: Why? A disqualification will save his title.
Brain: O.K. Then nail him!

(During the Rockers incident on the Barber Shop:)
As they were shaking hands: See, one without the other isn’t any good.
After the superkick: Oh, I knew he was going to do that. I just knew he was going to do that. He don’t need Jannetty.

“I know all about cheating. I’ve had six very successful marriages.”

“Do you know what ‘Ariba’ means. It means ‘Swim faster, the border gaurds are behind us”.

(At Royal Rumble ’92, Piper had just clotheslined Jake Roberts as he was about to DDT Flair)
Brain: “I never thought I’d say this, but thank you, Roddy! It’s a kilt! It’s not a skirt! It’s a kilt!”
(And after Piper had just kicked Flair as he had Roberts in the figure four seconds later)
Brain: “Why, you no-good freak! You skirt-wearing freak! It’s not a kilt, it’s a skirt!”

But who’s side is he on?

PURE GOLD! Wrestling announcing has never been the same since you left, Brain. If I left any out, post ‘em in the comments!

WorstleMania: Un-NES-essary Self-Torture

In honor of the upcoming Wrestlemania, I am going to do something so dangerous, so traumatic that I may never recover. I shall relive, and report on, one of the most jarring and scarring elements of my childhood: playing the WrestleMania game by Acclaim for the NES.Yes, thanks to the magic of stealing things on the Internet, emulators have made it possible for us to play Nintendo games from the 1980s here in the 2000s, and remember all over again why all but a few of them were so frustratingly shitty in the first place, causing us endless hours of boredom and/or angst until we forced ourselves to shut the fucking thing off and go play outside until the next shitty game came down the pipe. This process of masochistically recalling our childhood misery is called “nostalgia”.

On the outside of the box of NES WrestleMania, there is a warning label that should tell even a casual gamer to run the fuck away in the opposite direction:

Acclaim Logo
(Above: Acclaim, ruining kids’ lives since 1984.)

You may know Acclaim; they are the company that produced nearly every single crappy, half-thought-out wrestling game of the 80s and 90s; what you may not also know is that their subsidiary company, LJN, presided over nearly every single crappy, half-thought-out Nintendo movie tie-in game of the 80s and 90s, producing such memorable turds as Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Who Framed Roger Rabbit? And Gotcha! The Sport. So, basically, for everything popular in culture during that 20 year period that could possibly be reimagined as a game, it was Acclaim’s mission to turn it into a half-assed waste of time and money, by grabbing it around the throat and squeezing anything interesting or cool out of it.

GRAPHICS
The first screen that greets me is a screenshot of an 8-bit Hulk Hogan tearing off his shirt, followed by the doofy slogan “BIGGER! BETTER! BADDER!” I was about to get mad at Acclaim but then I remembered that this retarded slogan was actually used by the WWF for WrestleMania III. So on the suck scoreboard, it’s Vince -1, Acclaim 0.

I am being asked to select from 6 different wrestlers. There are pixelated but decent-looking digitized portraits of each wrestler, but you can bet that when the game starts they will all be slightly differently-colored blobs of shit that look nothing like who they are supposed to represent, so why quibble. I choose the first guy I am offered which is Ted DiBiase, partly because I don’t want to scroll around and partly because he was my favorite wrestler when I was a kid. And also, since this game takes place before he became a crazy, crazy Christian, I can’t in good conscience hold that particular bit of insanity against him. For his opponent I choose Andre the Giant.

(As a side note, there are 6 wrestlers to choose from and only two of them (Andre and Bam Bam) are currently dead. That’s a pretty good ratio considering how fast wrestlers drop. I was playing WWF WrestleFest, an actual good wrestling video game unlike this mess, not too long ago and I realized that 6 out of the 14 guys in the game have kicked the bucket.)

As the game starts, the first thing that is interesting to me is that while most normal wrestling matches might take place in an arena with spectators observing the action, the ring in this game appears to be situated in a formless black void, from which no light can escape. This is another fun quirky innovation added to the game by Acclaim. In case you have always wanted to know what a wrestling match would look like inside of a black hole, they have provided a reasonable representation of it.

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Observing further we see that the ring only has ropes on three sides as the side of the ring closest to the camera is ropeless. Some might assume that this is just really shitty, lazy game design which removes any semblance of realism from the game. But, as students of wrestling history know, this is a “shoutout” to the short period in history when the WWF experimented with a ring that had ropes on only three sides in the mid-1980s. Many lauded this era in WWF history for the added danger to any match, given the possibility of trying to bounce off the ropes on the side of the ring where there are no ropes. This experiment ended sadly when 500-pounder Uncle Elmer fell out of the ring onto an unsuspecting camera man in 1984 at a house show in Topeka, KS, and the WWF decided to go back to fully-enclosed rings.

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(Above: beware of falling objects.)

Fortunately for the safety of the wrestlers in this game, to prevent them from crossing over the ropeless boundary of the ring and floating off into the inky blackness of space that engulfs the arena, you can only run in two directions — left and right! Bigger, better, less-dimensional.

MOVES
As I predicted, a big three-color blob of shit that vaguely resembles Andre the Giant starts wobbling slowly toward me and throwing punches and kicks over and over. My first thought is that for a game released in the 1980s, the realism of Andre the Giant’s in-ring moveset (punch and kick) is way farther ahead of the curve than I expected. But then I realize that Ted DiBiase (also represented by a slightly different multicolor blob, which looks like a fat blond-haired hobo) has basically the same set of moves: punch and kick. In fact, every single player in the game has the same exact moves, punch and kick. Some of them are technically different moves, for example, Bam Bam Bigelow will head butt you, but the head butt is not an added move — it replaces the fucking PUNCH. And the graphics are so tiny and poorly executed that you can barely tell the difference between a punch, an elbow smash, etc.

Each character has one (1) other move that he can do, and all of them are variations on punches and kicks. A total of 3 moves and none of them are wrestling moves. If you bought this game with a strong urge to hiptoss, suplex or enziguiri somebody, you’re going to be sorely disappointed — you’re going to have to learn to punch your opponent about 45,000 times per match and fucking love it, goddammit.

nes5

Of course, even though each wrestler has only three fucking moves, you can goddamn well bet that Acclaim figured out a way to complicate shit. Each wrestler has the ability to pin someone, but unlike every other wrestling game ever made, the way to pin someone isn’t the same for everybody. There is even a ridiculous chart included in the instruction manual which I found a picture of online.

wrestlemania6tp4
(Above: Instruction booklet for Halo 3. No, just kidding, it is for a game with 3 moves.)

But wait, there’s more. For added realism, Acclaim decided it would be a good idea to make it impossible to climb up onto the top rope. But don’t worry — you can still execute top rope moves! How you ask? Well, you just run horizontally, along the top of the ring (not the bottom, that’s the side where the lack of ropes puts you in danger of flying off into the vacuum of space), and then JUMP UP ONTO THE TURNBUCKLE. Yes, even Hulk Hogan can do this from standing in the ring. Then, once up there, you have no control over when the stupid fucker leaps off the turnbuckle, he just goes immediately as soon as you get up there. The only character who cannot do this is Andre the Giant. I assume this is because ANDRE standing flatfooted and jumping up to the turnbuckle with no leverage would be SILLY! But it makes perfect sense for everyone else to do it.

Did you think there would be a referee in this match? Fat chance, as this game is from the golden era of gaming when more than two objects moving on a screen would cause smoke to pour out of your console. So, the pixelated blobs will have to slapfight on the ropeless periphery of a spacetime rip with no one to warn them or control the action. But don’t worry! None of the wrestlers have any submission moves, or any wrestling moves at all, or any ability to do anything that could possibly get them disqualified by a referee anyway. So unless he is there to count the thousands of punches and kicks in each match, a referee would be useless.

GAMEPLAY STRATEGY
It took me about 45 seconds to remember the best approach to beating this game: basically the strategy is to spazz out on the buttons and just punch and kick over and over, until someone is stupid enough to walk into you, then keep on spazzing out on the buttons until he falls down. Granted, this doesn’t have the feel of a wrestling game so much as an epileptic fit. But luckily, while I am enjoying myself by simulating a seizure, I can listen to a MIDI version of Ted DiBiase’s theme song, which for some reason Acclaim has decided is “Girls in Cars” by Strike Force.

nes7 1
(Above: “No, we never made it into a WWF game, but our song did, goddammit. iArriba!”)

Apparently hitting your opponent makes him turn pink, then red. You might think this is a good development for you. But you are sadly mistaken! In this game, when you beat the shit out of your opponent and he turns red, it means he is angry at you and his hits do more damage — thereby rewarding him for getting the shit kicked out of him. This is kind of like what would happen if you were playing a car racing game, and the game decided that crashing into a telephone pole made your car go faster. If you did not assume this naturally to be the case, that getting a severe beating would improve your standing in the match, then you must be thinking of some other wrestling game not made by Acclaim, that takes place in another dimension and timeline, where the ring has four sets of ropes and people can attend the arena without being crushed to death by the immense gravitational pull of a black hole.

nes6
(Above: No, not a strange venereal disease attacking 7-foot men who patronize French whores in Grenoble. It’s a power-up!)

UFOs (UNUSABLE FLOATING OBJECTS)
Did I mention the floating objects? I didn’t? Oh good, this is the best part, the part that everyone seems to remember about this shitty game. Each one of the six blobs of shit that vaguely resembles a wrestler has one item which periodically bounces into the ring. For Randy Savage, it is sunglasses. For Ted DiBiase, it is a dollar sign (not actual money, which is an actual thing that might actually appear in the real world — no, a symbolic representation of money physically comes bouncing into the ring). When your blob touches his item, he doesn’t use it. Ted DiBiase doesn’t use his “$” to bribe the other wrestler into laying down and jobbing. They just get some energy back, as if it is a tasty barbecue chicken found in a trash can in Final Fight.

nes8 1
(Above: “Time to fight crime and clean up the ci… hey, what’s this? A perfectly good chicken inside of a garbage can! What a waste.”)

You would think that maybe the game designers might want to include a chair or a sledgehammer to float into the ring; you know, something that might actually be useful to bludgeon your opponent with. But the only one of these items which even comes close to that is the Honky guitar, and unfortunately it is a tiny guitar the size of his foot (maybe a ukulele) and wouldn’t even knock out Little Beaver.

SUMMARY
This is a shitty, half-formed game, only a fraction more entertaining than Pong, and graphically worse than Pong (I would rather look at stick paddles and a square ball, than fat ass pixelated blobs with asscracks showing). Anyone in their right mind playing this piece of smegma for more than ten minutes would think that the NES was a cosmic joke delivered unto the universe by a vengeful creator.

I was about to write a recap where, having eaten my brain like a voracious worm, NES WrestleMania got a ridiculous score like negative 9,571,289 monsoons. But now that I think about it, with horrible punch and kick movesets, game elements that make no fucking sense, and gameplay that will put you to sleep, Acclaim has truly succeeded in producing a game that replicates the atmosphere of WrestleMania! I can only assume they were trying to replicate the shittiness of the WWF and succeeded in droves. Bravo Acclaim!

WorstleMania III: Goldberg vs. Lesnar (Austin as Ref)

One of the worst matches in wrestling history happened at WrestleMania XX, at Madison Square Garden in New York City, as the dream match between Bill Goldberg and Brock Lesnar was justly ruined when it became general knowledge that both individuals were on the outs with the WWE, and that Goldberg and Lesnar were having their last match at the event.

But, rather than a pleasant send-off by the New York crowd, both wrestlers were met with deafening chants of “BORING” and “AUSTIN.” Clearly, the most over person in this match was the referee, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, who was the only individual that, technically, stayed in the WWE after this match.

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It’s a shame that what could’ve been a great match was ruined by politics and selfishness. Lesnar wanted to try-out for the NFL, as Goldberg wanted to leave the WWE, and wrestling, alltogether.

Fast-forward to 2008: Brock Lesnar is working for the UFC as an unsuccessful MMA fighter and Bill Goldberg is working for Showtime’s EliteXC as an unsuccessful commentator/interviewer. Although their wrestling careers may be over, we have yet to see the last of Brock Lesnar and Bill Goldberg. Who knows.. maybe they will meet again in the world of MMA (and the referee will still be the most over person in that ring).

LOLWrestlers VI — LOLfire and Brimstone

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lolv

lolketchup

lolyokozuna

lolkamala2

lolpiper

Just Beat It.

You know, I hate to turn this into the Human Tornado Blog, and shit. But, this must be seen by everyone, because it is simply the most fucking awesomest thing ever. That is, of course, until the Human Tornado does something else.

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I know there are some people who will say that this ruins the “reality illusion” of a match. To you I say, how fucking stupid is a real “test of strength”, anyway?

How to properly end a tag team match

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No setup needed! From the recent NOAH supershow featuring the Briscoe Brothers vs. Suguira & Marufuji

Maria in Playboy Photos Leak

CLICK HERE [and then on the Spoiler button] to check out Maria in Playboy. To all of our readers in WWE locker rooms, make sure Santino Marella isn’t anywhere near you!

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